The Universe – Bon Appetit Hon

Closer To The Heart

12 September 2012by Wendi9 Comments

I was brought up with the expectation that when I received a gift, the proper thing to do was send a thank you card. As a young child, I would sit at the dining room table and, in my loopy juvenile cursive, thank my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents for their thoughtfulness in remembering my birthday, or sending a present down for Christmas. Those thank you notes were uncomplicated….thank you for “Where The Sidewalk Ends”. Books are my favorite thing. xoxoxo

As I’ve gotten older, the things for which I say thank you have gotten more complicated. And there isn’t always a direct mailing address for my note. Because sometimes it isn’t an individual who has given me a gift as much as it is the Universe allowing me an experience that will stay with me for a lifetime. Like the opportunity to see my dad before he passed away. Or the opportunity to get to know my grandmother as a person and not just as my guardian. And biggest by far would be for the opportunity to open my heart completely to a precious little girl.

Last time I was in this space, I was asking the Universe to give me that chance. I was asking it to eliminate the obstacles that The Mistah and I faced in our attempt to adopt. I know I was not alone in my petition. Our family, our friends, our entire village crossed fingers and said prayers.

While we waited, I did my best to let go of the fear and anxiety of what might happen. Instead, I focused on Libby. I held her, fed her, watched as she discovered something new every day and tried to think about how the world looked through her eyes.

And in what is likely the best gift I will ever receive, our prayers were answered. The obstacle that had been so daunting was simply gone. There’s no guidance from Emily Post about how to say thank you for something like that. So I have to find my own way…by announcing the news to family and friends that our family is growing, by joyfully loving this person who has forever changed our lives, and by saying thank you to everyone who has encouraged us along this journey.

It only feels right to actually write a thank you note, even if I have no way of mailing it, so here goes.

Dear Universe,

Thank you for the trust and confidence you have shown in us. Becoming Libby’s parents is a tremendous gift that we will cherish for a lifetime. As I watch her grow and develop each and every day, I want for her to have a world of endless possibilities. I delight in seeing the joy in her whole body when she smiles and I take comfort in feeling her fall asleep with her head buried in my chest. The last seven weeks have been unlike anything I’ve ever known but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. xoxoxo

Random

Universe, I Hope You Are Listening

10 August 2012by Wendi18 Comments

It seems by now I should know that The Universe really does listen. And that sometimes when it sends Opportunity knocking on my door, it doesn’t always look the way I expect it to.

I didn’t intend to talk about Opportunity and how it showed up three weeks ago. But this space, and this community, has been my confessional where I have spoken openly about many of my struggles, including our hopes of adopting and our frustration with the process. This also seems to be the place where The Universe listens to what is in my heart…once I find the courage to put it into words. So here I am. Universe, I hope you are listening.

Three weeks ago I decided that maybe I needed to let go of some things in order to make room in my life for new opportunities. I said that I felt as though a change was coming, but that I did not know what form it might take.

Two days after I made the decision to put BAH on hold, The Universe came along and let me know that I needed to let go of more. The volunteer position that I had held for the last two and a half years was not being renewed. This hurt. It hurt a lot because I believed strongly in the work I was doing and the connections I was forging with the young women with whom I worked. And it was just taken away from me. On one hand, I could see that maybe this was something that had to happen in order for a new Opportunity to present itself. But on the other hand, it still felt shitty.

Two days after that, we got a call. We got THE call. From our new adoption agency. After our Homestudy was approved in the spring, The Mistah and I came to the conclusion that the agency we had been working with was not the right organization for us. We asked around and got contact information for other agencies and found one that was a better fit.

Throughout this entire process we have known that our lives could change instantly. And it did. Our agency was working with a birth mother who had just delivered. The birth mother had consented to an adoption plan but there were complications with consent from the birth father. Without consent, a child cannot legally be adopted.

It was as though the decisions of that week culminated in Opportunity opening the door ever so slightly to see exactly how much we wanted to welcome it in. Would we take a chance on a risky placement or would we wait for a sure thing?

The Mistah and I talked about this well into the wee hours of the morning and decided that we were willing to take the risk.

We were advised to think about the situation as though we are providing foster care until we know how the legal situation is going to play out. In our heads, that’s what we’re doing. But in our hearts….well, in our hearts we are her parents. We shower her with hugs and kisses. We do our best to let her know that she is loved even though she has no idea what that means. And it frightens me to think there is a real chance that we will not have the opportunity to provide her with a loving home and allow her to become the fullest expression of herself.

We’re trying not to make this about us. To keep it about what is in the best interest of the baby. But we have agreed that we are in this for the long haul, even if that means pursuing parental rights directly in the courts. So Universe, I am here to tell you that what is in my heart is that I want to be this child’s mother. I want to take this leap. I want this responsibility. I want this Opportunity.

Random

Words

7 November 201117 January 2012by Wendi17 Comments

I feel as though an update is in order. Today, as I begin this post, it has been many weeks since I last sat down to write. During this whole time, words have been swirling through my head. Words that I hope will provide some kind of light on this unknown path.

After my parents’ deaths, I began to reflect on what I hope will influence the rest of my life. Things like generosity, trust, empathy, joy, and grace. And each day, I have made a point of taking a few moments to consciously affirm these intentions…to myself and to the Universe. And while I think they all are equally important, two have been in the forefront of my mind recently – opportunity and surrender.

I know that I have missed out on seeing many opportunities because I have been too focused on being in control. Of discussions. Of situations. Of people. And if I would only pull back and surrender that need to control the world around me, so many more opportunities would present themselves. So while that’s been knocking around in my head, the Universe has indeed given me chances to put words into action.

I have been presented with opportunities to practice surrender. And what I find interesting is the different ways in which each one achieves that. I see them as ways to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. Something that I may or may not end up being good at. But that will allow me to stretch and grow and redefine how I see myself…both in and out of the kitchen. I will be sharing those experiences with you here and promise that regardless of the bumps in this road, I’m still here cooking.

It’s hard to go back to writing about butter and sugar and bacon in such a lighthearted way after all of the turmoil that I have felt and still feel. But there are words to say and recipes to share.

Side Dishes

Perfect Roasted Potatoes

10 August 20116 July 2011by Wendi6 Comments

I understand that it is August and you are likely in no frame of mind to crank your oven to 425. I won’t even try and convince you that you should. What I will do is ask that you please bookmark this page and give it some clever title in your computer so that you will be constantly reminded that once the mercury dips below Hades, you have a date with Perfect Roasted Potatoes.

I recall reading a similar recipe back in my CI days. I think I may have even pulled the page out and tucked it away into my recipe folders. And then we had that ugly breakup and throwing away their roasted potato recipe was the culinary equivalent of deleting them from my cell phone or destroying all the mix tapes they made me. It hurt but it was the right thing to do.

However, The Universe apparently believed that Perfect Roasted Potatoes and I were destined to meet. Because The Universe guided my browser over to Chocolate and Zucchini where Clotilde effusively described how this recipe transformed her into a perfect potato roaster. Who am I to scoff at the combined wisdom of The Universe, Clotilde, and Pascale and her mother in law?

So now that you are reading this, you are also presented with this wisdom. Use it wisely.

Perfect Roasted Potatoes

Adapted from Chocolate and Zucchini

BAH Note: I may have gotten a little impatient with my potatoes and didn’t let all of them get the lovely golden crust the results from the banged up surface of the parboiled potatoes being roasted. But believe me, the crust is magical and the potatoes really are perfect.

2 1/2 pounds potatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
kosher salt

Heat the oven to 425 degrees and line a sheet pan with aluminum foil. Fill a pot large enough to hold all your potatoes with cold water and and set on the stove.

Peel your potatoes, or partially peel if using smooth skinned potatoes, cut them into bite sized chunks, and place them in the pot. Cover the pot and bring the water to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, lower the heat to medium and simmer for 5 minutes.

As soon as the water begins to boil, add the vegetable oil to the sheet pan and place it in the oven while the potatoes cook.

After the potatoes have simmered for 5 minutes, drain them and return them to the pot. Put the lid back on and carefully but firmly shake the potatoes around inside the pot. You want the surface of the potatoes to get a little banged up so they will form a crust in the oven.

Carefully remove the hot sheet pan from the oven and transfer the potatoes onto it. Generously sprinkle with kosher salt and use a heat resistant spatula or spoon to make sure the potatoes are well coated with the hot oil.

Bake for 25 to 35 minutes, or until a paring knife meets no resistance when inserted . The exterior will have a golden crust and the inside will be light and fluffy. Enjoy these immediately.

{printable recipe}

Random

Big Summer Potluck

10 August 201010 August 2010by Wendi25 Comments

I’m not a gambler by nature. The risks I take are calculated, not reckless. However, there are moments when I throw caution to the wind, say what the hell, and let the chips fall where they may. These moments are few and far between, but they do happen. My most recent spontaneous, caution thrown to the wind decision involved me, one untested cookie recipe, a set of Mapquest directions, six hours of driving, 39 food bloggers, several food professionals, and three deer.

The destination was called the Big Summer Potluck. Organized by women who know food, blogging, and photography – Maggy Keet and Sharon Anderson of Three Many Cooks and Erika Pineda of Ivory Hut – this was a day to come together with other food bloggers to talk about the challenges we all face. It was an opportunity to build our food blogging community, to support and encourage one another, to learn more about our craft, and to eat some amazing food.

These ladies pulled out all the stops. On the agenda:

Pam Anderson (food columnist, cookbook author, Three Many Cooks food blogger, and former executive editor of Cook’s Illustrated) shared her thoughts on recipe development and recipe writing, in addition to graciously hosting us at her home.

Abby Dodge (food writer and instructor, cookbook author, and contributing editor to Fine Cooking magazine) demoed a dessert from her upcoming Desserts 4 Today cookbook (brilliant concept y’all…a cookbook full of desserts that utilize four ingredients), and shared some of her tips and tricks (stabilize whipped cream by replacing half the heavy cream with marscapone…yum).

Melissa DeMayo (food stylist extraordinaire) shared her food styling expertise and tips (texture, height, ingredient shots), demoed building the picture perfect sandwich, and told us the best way to do {fill in the blank with your question of choice} is whatever results in the prettiest shot.

Erika Pineda (photojournalist, sports photographer, and Ivory Hut blogger) spoke about the Holy Trinity of photography (Aperture, Shutter Speed, and ISO), point and shoot vs. dslr, and processing.

We had a lively discussion about video content and media campaigns with Auritt Communications.

And then there was Alice. Alice Currah of Savory Sweet Life and Everyday Alice. Alice Currah who was named one of Forbes.com’s “Eight of The Very Best Food Bloggers” and Saveur’s food photography “Cover Contest” winner. Maybe you’ve heard of her? She’s the bomb. Alice spoke to us about the importance of being authentic in our craft, speaking (and blogging) from the heart and from what we know, carving our own niche out of the blogosphere while also supporting and encouraging and honoring other food bloggers.

I go on and on about The Universe this and The Universe that and it may sound trite but hear me out. I was originally supposed to be in New York city for BlogHer this summer. My plans changed and I didn’t have the opportunity to attend and to finally meet in person some of the people that I have grown to think of as part of my extended family. And I was disappointed about that. But The Universe more than made up for it by getting me to Big Summer Potluck. BlogHer is mega big. It’s huge. Which for my socially awkward self is completely overwhelming. Big Summer Potluck was intimate. It was warm and welcoming. It was a conversation among old friends who may have just met each other that morning. It was exactly where I needed to be.

Remember my post You Might Be A Food Blogger If… That’s how Big Summer Potluck made me feel. I was anxious about walking into a room with an untested recipe (and we know I have strict rules about untested recipes) where I didn’t know a soul. My lack of navigational skills resulted in me getting lost in rural Pennsylvania and being the very last person to arrive 30 minutes late. Hello, I consider showing up on time being late. And yet, once I set foot in the door all of that melted away. I was embraced by these people. I was part of their tribe. I belonged. And isn’t that what we all want? To be accepted. To be validated. To be inspired.

There was laughter. Warm sun, clear skies, and cool breezes. Amazing products supplied from KitchenAid, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, New West Knifeworks, The Spice House, Fine Cooking, Green Valley Organics, Green Mountain Coffee, Cypress Grove Chevre, Naturally Nora, and Lindsay Olives. And incredible food. Because you have to know that at a food blogger get together we’re going to nosh on good eats. To see people who know and make good food eat my potluck contribution and have their faces light up was priceless. In my head, I sounded like an insecure adolescent saying OMG, Alice Currah is eating my cookie and she LIKES it!!! There may have also been jazz hands and the Peanuts dance going on in my head as well. I was too excited in the moment to accurately recall now.

So I’ve been quietly sending my thanks back to The Universe for giving me the opportunity to be part of Big Summer Potluck. For the people who made it all possible and the people whose presence made it what it was.

I’ve also been thanking The Universe for allowing me to come to a complete stop on that winding back road in time not to hit the deer that decided to pop out of nowhere and lazily cross the road. I don’t know if there is any symbolic meaning to seeing three massive bucks other than the obvious – slow down. But that is one of the small moments from the weekend I hope to hang on to. Yes Universe, sometimes I hear what you’re trying to tell me loud and clear.

Hungry for more Big Summer Potluck? Check out: