State Of Confusion

I like to think I’m a fairly intelligent person who can usually figure things out.  Except math equations.  I was horrible in math.  I don’t care what ‘x’ equals in the equation.  It’s not important to me so I don’t make an effort to understand.  I’m happier to exist in a state of confusion.  So if you’ll agree not to put me on the spot and challenge me to find the value of ‘x’, like some bizarre hazing ritual, I’ll agree not to call you a big jerk.  And I’ll just go on my merry way as Governor of the State of Confusion.

Generally, my expertise as Gov’nr of the State of Confusion (SoC) is limited to things like math, science, and the unexplainable fascination we seem to have with Jon and Kate Gosselin.  But from time to time, I find myself serving in my official capacity as head of the SoC in the kitchen.

Sometime recipes just have crappy instructions which make it challenging to follow along.  Like computer code, a lot of ‘if this’ ‘then that’ ‘otherwise something else’ does not make for a well written recipe.  Even if I ultimately get the point you’re trying to make, why can’t you just be a little more direct.  This isn’t  CSS code (which I have yet to figure out), it’s roast beef.  Circular references do not apply here.

Roast beef, by the way, was served at the most recent official State of Confusion dinner.  Circular references, and the Gosselins, were not invited.

Slow Roasted Beef

Cook’s Illustrated

BAH Note:  I’m going to list the text of the CI recipe verbatim despite my desire to explain it a little more directly.  Who knows, maybe the problem is not with the instructions.  Maybe I’ve spent so long as SoC Gov’nr that my ability to rationally process information and problem solve has finally abandoned me.  I should really consider instituting term limits on this position.

“We don’t recommend cooking this roast past medium.  Open the oven door as little as possible and remove the roast from the oven while taking its temperature.  If the roast has not reached the desired temperature in the time specified in step 3, heat the oven to 225 for 5 minutes, shut it off, and continue to cook the roast to the desired temperature.  For a smaller (2 1/2 to 3 1/2 pound) roast, reduce the amount of kosher salt to 3 teaspoons (1 1/2 teaspoons table salt) and black pepper to 1 1/2 teaspoons.  For a 4 1/2 to 6 pound roast, cut in half crosswise before cooking to create two smaller roasts.”

• 1 boneless eye round roast (3 1/2 to 4 1/2 pounds)
• 4 teaspoons kosher salt or 2 teaspoons table salt
• 2 teaspoons, plus 1 tablespoon, vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons ground black pepper

Sprinkle roast evenly with salt.  Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate 18 to 24 hours.

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 225 degrees.  Pat roast dry, rub with 2 teaspoons oil, and sprinkle with ground pepper.  Heat remaining oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium high heat until starting to smoke.  Sear roast until browned on all sides, 3 to 4 minutes per side.  Transfer roast to a wire rack set inside a rimmed baking sheet.  Roast until meat probe thermometer or instant read thermometer inserted into the center registers 115 degrees for medium rare (1 1/4 to 1 3/4 hours), or 125 degrees for medium (1 3/4 to 2 1/4 hours).

Turn the oven off, leave roast in the oven without opening the door, until the temperature registers 130 degrees for medium rare or 140 for medium, 30 to 50 minutes more.  (BAH Question – so am I supposed to leave the thermometer in the roast while the heat is off, which breaks one rule, or do I take it out of the oven, which breaks another?)

Transfer roast to carving board and let rest for 15 minutes.  Slice as thinly as possible and serve.

{printable recipe}