State Of Confusion

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I like to think I’m a fairly intelligent person who can usually figure things out.  Except math equations.  I was horrible in math.  I don’t care what ‘x’ equals in the equation.  It’s not important to me so I don’t make an effort to understand.  I’m happier to exist in a state of confusion.  So if you’ll agree not to put me on the spot and challenge me to find the value of ‘x’, like some bizarre hazing ritual, I’ll agree not to call you a big jerk.  And I’ll just go on my merry way as Governor of the State of Confusion.

Generally, my expertise as Gov’nr of the State of Confusion (SoC) is limited to things like math, science, and the unexplainable fascination we seem to have with Jon and Kate Gosselin.  But from time to time, I find myself serving in my official capacity as head of the SoC in the kitchen.

Sometime recipes just have crappy instructions which make it challenging to follow along.  Like computer code, a lot of ‘if this’ ‘then that’ ‘otherwise something else’ does not make for a well written recipe.  Even if I ultimately get the point you’re trying to make, why can’t you just be a little more direct.  This isn’t  CSS code (which I have yet to figure out), it’s roast beef.  Circular references do not apply here.

Roast beef, by the way, was served at the most recent official State of Confusion dinner.  Circular references, and the Gosselins, were not invited.

Slow Roasted Beef

Cook’s Illustrated

BAH Note:  I’m going to list the text of the CI recipe verbatim despite my desire to explain it a little more directly.  Who knows, maybe the problem is not with the instructions.  Maybe I’ve spent so long as SoC Gov’nr that my ability to rationally process information and problem solve has finally abandoned me.  I should really consider instituting term limits on this position.

“We don’t recommend cooking this roast past medium.  Open the oven door as little as possible and remove the roast from the oven while taking its temperature.  If the roast has not reached the desired temperature in the time specified in step 3, heat the oven to 225 for 5 minutes, shut it off, and continue to cook the roast to the desired temperature.  For a smaller (2 1/2 to 3 1/2 pound) roast, reduce the amount of kosher salt to 3 teaspoons (1 1/2 teaspoons table salt) and black pepper to 1 1/2 teaspoons.  For a 4 1/2 to 6 pound roast, cut in half crosswise before cooking to create two smaller roasts.”

  • 1 boneless eye round roast (3 1/2 to 4 1/2 pounds)
  • 4 teaspoons kosher salt or 2 teaspoons table salt
  • 2 teaspoons, plus 1 tablespoon, vegetable oil
  • 2 teaspoons ground black pepper

Sprinkle roast evenly with salt.  Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate 18 to 24 hours.

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 225 degrees.  Pat roast dry, rub with 2 teaspoons oil, and sprinkle with ground pepper.  Heat remaining oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium high heat until starting to smoke.  Sear roast until browned on all sides, 3 to 4 minutes per side.  Transfer roast to a wire rack set inside a rimmed baking sheet.  Roast until meat probe thermometer or instant read thermometer inserted into the center registers 115 degrees for medium rare (1 1/4 to 1 3/4 hours), or 125 degrees for medium (1 3/4 to 2 1/4 hours).

Turn the oven off, leave roast in the oven without opening the door, until the temperature registers 130 degrees for medium rare or 140 for medium, 30 to 50 minutes more.  (BAH Question – so am I supposed to leave the thermometer in the roast while the heat is off, which breaks one rule, or do I take it out of the oven, which breaks another?)

Transfer roast to carving board and let rest for 15 minutes.  Slice as thinly as possible and serve.

{printable recipe}

9 thoughts on “State Of Confusion

    1. Math is my downfall. Typically, I leave my thermometer probe in the meat while it’s in the oven. But CI didn’t seem to be down with that. So I saw it as a damed if I do, damned if I don’t situation.

      I’m thinking of having new business cards made up for BlogHer this summer that list my official title as Governor of the State of Confusion.

  1. Lol! I saw the title to your post and thought for sure you were going to blog about the “State of Confusion” going on here with the snow covered roads! I think I’ve been in the house too long!

    1. Kristin, I’m guessing your neighborhood doesn’t get any plow love either? I had to call the city yesterday because even though garbage pick up was supposed to resume, the trash truck didn’t even bother to come through. And my neighbors so thoughtfully piled all the trash up at the end of the alley so the trucks could get to it. Did I mention that my house is at the end of the alley? I’ve got a mountain of trash off my backyard. I’m sure the rats appreciated the buffet.

  2. Wendi, don’t get me started on the state of our alley and street. I went off on a guy yesterday for using our alley entrance as a parking spot. F-bombs were flying out of my mouth. I had reached my boiling point. It was inevitable.

    1. Oh Tracy, I’m so sorry. People really can be idiots.

      I’m cautiously optimistic that the city will have moved the mountain of trash by the time I get home today. Otherwise, the nice lady who answers the calls at 311 will be hearing from me again, and again, and again until it’s gone.

  3. Every time I think I miss living in the city, stories like these remember why I don’t. Howard County did an excellent job of clearing the snow.

    And we have the best corn tortillas this side of the Rio Grande 🙂

    1. Kathy, I was amazed at how quickly HoCo got Ellicott City cleaned up. There’s no trace of snow left on Main Street. My street in the city is another story entirely.

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